The History Boys - The French Scene - Translation

I like The History Boys very much. Since I do not understand French, I am always a little lost when I get to the French scene. I came across this translation of that scene in the play. It isn't the same text as the movie, but it is close and gives you the feeling of what is being said. At least, I now know what is going on.

HECTOR: Where would you like to work this afternoon?
RUDGE: In a garage.
BOYS: No, no.
SCRIPPS: Not again. Have pity on us.
HECTOR: Dakin. Where would you like to work this afternoon?
DAKIN: I would like to work...in a maison de passe.

HECTOR: Oo-la-la.
BOYS: What is that? What is a maison de passe?
POSNER: A brothel.
HECTOR: Very good. But a brothel where all the clients use the subjunctive or the conditional, yes? Here. Already a client! Who is the maid?
POSNER: Me. I am the maid.
HECTOR: What is your name?
POSNER: My name is Simone.
AKTHAR: Simone, the gentleman cannot wait.

POSNER: Good day, sir.
DAKIN: Good day, dear.
POSNER: Enter, if you please. There is your bed and here is your prostitute.
HECTOR: Oh. Here one calls a cat a cat.
DAKIN: Thank you, ma'am (referring to an older, married woman).
POSNER: Miss (referring to a younger, unmarried woman).
DAKIN: I want to stretch out on the bed.
HECTOR: I would like...I would like to stretch out on the bed in the conditional or the subjunctive.
POSNER: But your shoes, sir, not on the bed. And your pants, if you please.
DAKIN: Excuse me, miss.
POSNER: Oh! What beautiful legs!
DAKIN: Watch it.

POSNER: And now...Claudine (Timms).
DAKIN: Yes, the prostitute, if you please.
CROWTHER: Sir, I thought that you would want some foreplay?
DAKIN: What foreplay?
POSNER: Claudine. What foreplay is on the menu?
TIMMS: At what price?
DAKIN: Ten francs.
TIMMS: Ten francs? For ten francs I can show you my prodigious chest.
DAKIN: And now, could I touch your chest?
TIMMS: That would cost you 15 francs. For 20 francs you can put your mouth on my chest and agitate...

LOCKWOOD: Agitate what?
POSNER: Another client.
HECTOR: Ah, dear Director sir.
HEADMASTER: Mr. Hector, I hope I'm not...
HECTOR: English, it's banned. Here we speak only French, according a particular importance to the subjunctive.
HEADMASTER: Oh, ah. And what is happening here? Why is this boy...Dakin, isn't it?...without his...trousers?

HECTOR: Anyone? Don't be timid. Tell the Director what we are doing.
DAKIN: I am a man who...
HECTOR: You are not a man. You are a solider...a soldate blessé; you understand, dear Director sir...soldat blessé?
HEADMASTER: Wounded solider, of course, yes.
HECTOR: This is a hospital in Belgium.
HEADMASTER: Belgium? Why Belgium?
AKTHAR: At Ypres, sir. Ypres. During the First World War.
HECTOR: That's it. Dakin is a wounded solider, one mutilated in war and the others are doctors, nurses, and all the personnel of a big medical and therapy establishment. Continue, my children.
HEADMASTER: But...

AKTHAR: How he suffers!
LOCKWOOD: My mother! My mother!
AKTHAR: He calls his mother.
LOCKWOOD: My father!
AKTHAR: He calls his father.
LOCKWOOD: My aunt!
HEADMASTER: His aunt?
TIMMS: The entire family.
HECTOR: He is distracted. He is distracted.
IRWIN: He is commotionné, perhaps?
HECTOR: What?
IRWIN: Commotionné. Shell-shocked.
HECTOR: It's possible. Shell-shocked. Yes, that is the correct word.
HEADMASTER: Allow me to introduce Mr. Irwin, your new professor.
HECTOR: Pleased to meet you.
HEADMASTER: What I want...
HECTOR: (the subjunctive) Veuille...veu...ille...
HEADMASTER: Vei-ulle. Enough of this...silliness..